By Nilesh Kr. Karna & Namrata GR Raut- Vivah Panchami, is one of the most celebrated days in Awadh and the Mithila region of Nepal and India. This falls on the Sukla Panchami (fifth day) of waxing phase of moon in the Agrahayana (Mangshir). This is celebrated as the marriage anniversary of the two prominent figures in Santana Dharma, Ram also called maryadapurush, and Sita, daughter of Mithila. In previous articles, there has been an emphasis on the cultural impact of Sita, an adopted daughter of king Janak and queen Sunaina, and how they wanted to be known by their daughter’s name and cultural, spiritual, and religious contributions of ancient Mithila in modern Nepal as Janakpur Dham. In this article, we wanted to emphasize the cultural celebration of vivahpanchmi. This also celebrates the ancient relationship that exists between Nepal where Sita belongs and India, the birthplace of Ram.
The celebration continues for a week and devotees from Nepal and India gather to recreate the marriage ceremony. The celebration starts with the tour of Janakpur, called as Janakpur-darsan, second day with flower garden tale, called phulbari leela. The third day is Bow oblation, Dhanush Yagya, fourth day is Tilak, fifth is matkor, sixth is the vedic vivah and seventh day is the farewell of people from Ayodhya. For Tilak, the priests from Janaki-mandir and Ram-mandir play the role of fathers of Sita and Ram respectively to perform the tilak ceremony. When the groom’s side arrives, the bride’s father welcomes the groom, and family with a tilak (made up of vermillion) on the forehead. In matkor, mud is gathered from the pond to make marba (the setup made up of mud-bamboo-aairpan) to perform rituals of vedic-vivah. This has been now replaced to some extent by a modern set-up. One another ritual is the khumhran, where five married ladies help the to-be-bride take shower in any natural river/pond with dahi-hardi (yogurt-turmeric) and lots of blessings and good vibes to start their new life. And when baarati (the groom’s side family/friends arrive for the ceremony), the to-be bride performs Gauri puja before all the rituals for marriage start on the wedding day.
The bhaar (gifts of sweets/clothes/fruits/jewelry) gets exchanged between Janakpur in Nepal and Ajodhya in India till-date. One fun fact about Janakpur Dham is that, when a girl from Janakpur becomes a bride, people still sing sohar that mentions the lyrics about the wedding of Ram-Sita and draw Kohbaar, which is made up of aripaan (made up of colors from paddy-vermillion-turmeric), revolving around the Gauri puja and other rituals performed by Sita during her marriage. This was the time when Mithila/Madhubani paintings were used to decorate houses.
All these rituals are still practiced in the marriage ceremony of Awadh-Mithila. There are so many plays displayed locally emphasizing the life of Sita-Ram on vivahapanchami. Most Mithila paintings still revolve around the wedding ceremony of Sita-Ram and are well documented in form of art.
There is a belief that Sita’s life was full of struggle, so parents usually don’t want their daughters to get married on vivahpanchmi. But then Sita is also a prominent example of women empowerment who was a single mother raising kids in treta-yug. It all depends on the perception and how we are analyzing the situation. One another fun fact is the relationship between Awadh-Mithila. People from Mithila still pass gentle sarcasm on people from Awadh and vice versa as in both cultures, they enjoy teasing in-laws.
There is a saying in Mithila that on the day of vivahpanchmi, there is no house without guests/relatives. Also, when people from Ajodhya comes to Janakpur, it doesn’t matter if it’s Muslim or Christian or Sanatani, people welcome the guests with open arm providing a perfect example of religious tolerance because Sita is a daughter of Mithila 😊.
In Maithili, there is a saying, “Beti gau ke hoi hai”, meaning, the daughter belongs to the village/city, and we still stand by it. Also, as per the Sanatani, Chaturthi, the fourth day of marriage is considered the actual marriage, because if the bride is not okay with the marriage, she can dissolve the marriage legally.
People from around the world do believe in the institution of marriage and nevertheless so many changes/improvisations have occurred over time. As we all know, the only constant thing is change, and it will happen no matter how hard we try. Knowing the rituals and reasoning behind some of the cultural celebrations helps to pass on the information to the next generations. And a perfect way to celebrate the relationships that we have and come together to enjoy all the moments along with the family.
